According to horror film news site Bloody Disgusting, anonymous sources have revealed that Warner Bros. Pictures is currently looking to reboot its recently purchased, long dormant Mortal Kombat film franchise. “But Joystiq,” you might be asking, “why has the Mortal Kombat film franchise been long dormant?” Our dear, naive readers: This is why the Mortal Kombat film franchise has been long dormant. If you’ve got friends at the WB, you should consider forwarding them that little slice of cinematic history.

Bloody Disgusting reports that Oren Uziel, a new screenwriter who penned a yet-to-be-produced murder mystery titled Shimmer Lake, is being considered to write the film. Now, we’ve never met Uziel, but we hope he heeds our advice: Take the job. We guarantee it will be the easiest writing gig you’ll ever have.